A baby's early interactions with their caregiver, typically their mother, play a crucial role in shaping their sense of self and their understanding of the world.
The loving and attentive gaze of the caregiver teaches the baby about their own existence and worth, laying the foundation for a healthy sense of self-esteem and belonging. This need for recognition and visibility remains with us throughout our lives, influencing our relationships and how we perceive ourselves.
As adults, we may find ourselves seeking validation and visibility in our interactions with others, often unconsciously trying to fulfill the unmet needs from our early years. When these needs are not met, we can experience feelings of loneliness and a lack of connection with ourselves and others
Practicing self-recognition and self-love, even if it feels challenging or unfamiliar, can be beneficial. Louise Hay's exercise of looking into the mirror and affirming self-love can be a powerful practice in cultivating self-recognition and acceptance. It encourages us to acknowledge our own existence and value, independent of external validation.
But being truly seen by others can be a profound and life changing experience, a testament to love and connection. When someone sees us for who we are and reflects our feelings back to us, it reaffirms our sense of self and our place in the world. In relationships, the act of seeing and being seen is a gift that can foster intimacy and healing.
In my work with clients, particularly couples, I focus on how acknowledging feelings in a compassionate and empathic way can help heal attachment wounds and create a sense of security. By fostering mutual recognition in their relationships, couples can support each other in healing past traumas and deepening their connection. Intimacy = In-To-Me-See!
In the picture, my son Tom as a baby, being seen
